The Organized Unschooler

I am a control-freak.  It was a natural & inevitable result of the environment in which I grew up.  I have learned to accept and embrace this aspect of my personality.  And, over the years, I have learned to manage it as well.  When I first started looking into homeschooling, I was sure that I would need textbooks and desks.  I was even shopping around for a podium from which I could lecture.  Yes, it’s all quite comical to me now.  It didn’t take me long to realize how ridiculous that all was, but I still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of “doing nothing” — my initial understanding of unschooling.  The control-freak in me was having none of that.  I like spreadsheets.  I like having a  Plan.

When my children were still quite young (ages 4 & 2), I decided to do a “Letter of the Week” type of organized Plan.  I was being drawn to the idea of unschooling, but I couldn’t quite let go of, at least, some feeling of control.  I would ask the children to pick a letter from the alphabet.  Then, I would make a list of activities centered around that letter, e.g., crafts, science experiments, animal studies, etc.  We even made a “word chart” for each letter.
Example: 

(word chart for the letter “D” — cut out dragon shapes, wrote D-words on them & glued them to the big dragon)

The kids really enjoyed these activities.  I did not demand that we do a “letter activity” each day, but the kids usually asked to do something each day.  I felt good just having The Plan.  I didn’t have a set schedule for The Plan or a deadline — but, it was enough of a Plan to quell the control-freak in me.

We continued with this “Letter of the Week” Plan (which usually lasted a month or longer rather than just a week) fairly consistently for about 2 years.  Even now — every now & then – they will ask  to pick a letter again & do some corresponding activities.

During this time, my control-freak side wanted a “big picture” look at things so, using  Rebecca Rupp’s ”Home Learning Year by Year,” I made fancy spreadsheets setting forth what my children “should” be learning at each grade level.  The first time that I went through my spreadsheets, I was thrilled to realize that my children were all over the board for skills — some matching their “grade-level” and some above “grade-level.”  Even more amazing to me — when that light finally comes on about real learning & unschooling — was the fact that there were so many skills that they had acquired that weren’t even ON my spreadsheets.  It really was during this time that I truly began to understand and appreciate what child-led, life-learning was all about.  I was ready to totally jump on board!!!

 I threw caution to the wind; turned my back on Excel (my spreadsheet demi-god); and dove head-first into a life with no organization — no Plan.

And, we all lived happily ever after.

LOL!!  Yeah — not quite.

I felt like I was floundering through our days.  I kept feeling like I was missing something.  Really, it is difficult to explain what I was feeling.  I just knew that something did not feel right to me.  I started taking notes each day of things that we did and I saw, clearly, that the children were actively learning loads of new & fabulous things each day.  Okay — learning was happening.  I could see it.  Why did I still feel off?

During this time, we were all working toward changing the way in which we interacted with one another.  We were moving toward a whole lifestyle of unschooling – respectful parenting – consensual living (what ever you want to call it).  A central part of this type of lifestyle involves acknowledging and respecting the needs of all the members of the family.  And, through this way of thinking, I realized that I was not acknowledging or respecting my need for organization.  The control-freak within me may have become a much smaller part of my personality, but it was still part of who I was.  That is when I became an Organized Unschooler.

I, now, give myself all the organization I want.  I make my spreadsheets.  I make my PLAN.   I just make sure that I don’t force any of it upon my children.  I tell them about Plans I have created.  If they are interested, we run with it.  If they are NOT interested, I willingly and respectfully  drop it.

 Who would have thought — a control-freak really CAN be a successful unschooler.

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