The Organized Unschooler

or,  “The Closet Unschooler” 

I had a friend good-naturedly tease me that “organized unschooler” was an oxymoron.  And, I agree, at first blush, it may seem so.  In fact, it seemed like enough of a contradiction to me, in the past, that I was afraid/cautious about mentioning any of my organizational tendencies when in groups of unschoolers.  “If they knew I made spreadsheets and organize projects for my kids, they won’t think I’m a ‘real’ unschooler.”

Now, I’m not normally the kind of person who gives two shakes of a monkey tail about what someone else thinks about me, but, I REALLY liked this unschooling community that I had found and I did not want to alienate any of them — so, I proceeded with caution.  Ironically, the deeper my family got into the world of unschooling (i.e., whole life unschooling/respectful parenting/etc.), the more comfortable I became at being true to myself — the self that didn’t worry about what I thought other people were thinking about me.

I KNEW that we were unschoolers.  I never forced any of my ideas on my children.  I would tell them about my ideas, ask if they were interested, if yes – great, we did the activity, if no – great, we did something else.  I am respectful of my children’s choices.  I follow their lead with regard to learning (& most things in life).  I am an “unschooler.”

This was part of my motivation for creating this blog — to help other “I-Just-Have-To-Organize” unschooling parents realize that they are not alone and to help them be proud of working toward meeting their own needs as well as their children’s needs.  One awesome unschooling mom told me (after seeing this blog) that this was like unschooling’s “dirty little secrect.”  LOL!  I loved that.  Hopefully, working together, we can change that.  There isn’t anything wrong or dirty about giving yourself the organization you need.  One mom told me that she knew others wouldn’t think she was an unschooler because her daughter takes classes.  “Are you forcing her to go to the classes?”  I asked.  “Oh, no!” the mom replied. “She loves the classes.  It’s her choice.”   VOILA!!!   The core of unschooling!! 

I have “learning” stuff all over the walls of my house (in addition to the 5 million pictures that my children create & randomly tape up all over the place).  Does this make me “not” an unschooler?  Well, I don’t ever force my children to sit down & look at the posters/pictures/etc.  We don’t have “lessons” or lectures about them.  They are there for my children to look at whenever (& if ever) they want to — which turns out to be quite often (like me, they are very visual).  One unschooling mom visiting my house once told me that my home looked very “schooly” because of all the posters and books everywhere.  Here I just thought it looked messy.

Are there people out there in the unschooling community who would say that I’m not a “real” unschooler?  Sure.  Just as there are, I’m sure, folks out there who would say that I’m not a “real” girl because I don’t like shoes and I absolutely detest shopping.

My point is:  Don’t talk yourself or shame yourself out of the unschooler title because of what you think others might think.  You KNOW that you don’t force your ideas on your children.  You KNOW you are respecting their choices.  You are being courageous and honest enough to give both you and your children what you need.  Hold your head high and be proud.  Organized Unschoolers are REAL!!

I am a control-freak.  It was a natural & inevitable result of the environment in which I grew up.  I have learned to accept and embrace this aspect of my personality.  And, over the years, I have learned to manage it as well.  When I first started looking into homeschooling, I was sure that I would need textbooks and desks.  I was even shopping around for a podium from which I could lecture.  Yes, it’s all quite comical to me now.  It didn’t take me long to realize how ridiculous that all was, but I still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of “doing nothing” — my initial understanding of unschooling.  The control-freak in me was having none of that.  I like spreadsheets.  I like having a  Plan.

When my children were still quite young (ages 4 & 2), I decided to do a “Letter of the Week” type of organized Plan.  I was being drawn to the idea of unschooling, but I couldn’t quite let go of, at least, some feeling of control.  I would ask the children to pick a letter from the alphabet.  Then, I would make a list of activities centered around that letter, e.g., crafts, science experiments, animal studies, etc.  We even made a “word chart” for each letter.
Example: 

(word chart for the letter “D” — cut out dragon shapes, wrote D-words on them & glued them to the big dragon)

The kids really enjoyed these activities.  I did not demand that we do a “letter activity” each day, but the kids usually asked to do something each day.  I felt good just having The Plan.  I didn’t have a set schedule for The Plan or a deadline — but, it was enough of a Plan to quell the control-freak in me.

We continued with this “Letter of the Week” Plan (which usually lasted a month or longer rather than just a week) fairly consistently for about 2 years.  Even now — every now & then – they will ask  to pick a letter again & do some corresponding activities.

During this time, my control-freak side wanted a “big picture” look at things so, using  Rebecca Rupp’s ”Home Learning Year by Year,” I made fancy spreadsheets setting forth what my children “should” be learning at each grade level.  The first time that I went through my spreadsheets, I was thrilled to realize that my children were all over the board for skills — some matching their “grade-level” and some above “grade-level.”  Even more amazing to me — when that light finally comes on about real learning & unschooling — was the fact that there were so many skills that they had acquired that weren’t even ON my spreadsheets.  It really was during this time that I truly began to understand and appreciate what child-led, life-learning was all about.  I was ready to totally jump on board!!!

 I threw caution to the wind; turned my back on Excel (my spreadsheet demi-god); and dove head-first into a life with no organization — no Plan.

And, we all lived happily ever after.

LOL!!  Yeah — not quite.

I felt like I was floundering through our days.  I kept feeling like I was missing something.  Really, it is difficult to explain what I was feeling.  I just knew that something did not feel right to me.  I started taking notes each day of things that we did and I saw, clearly, that the children were actively learning loads of new & fabulous things each day.  Okay — learning was happening.  I could see it.  Why did I still feel off?

During this time, we were all working toward changing the way in which we interacted with one another.  We were moving toward a whole lifestyle of unschooling – respectful parenting – consensual living (what ever you want to call it).  A central part of this type of lifestyle involves acknowledging and respecting the needs of all the members of the family.  And, through this way of thinking, I realized that I was not acknowledging or respecting my need for organization.  The control-freak within me may have become a much smaller part of my personality, but it was still part of who I was.  That is when I became an Organized Unschooler.

I, now, give myself all the organization I want.  I make my spreadsheets.  I make my PLAN.   I just make sure that I don’t force any of it upon my children.  I tell them about Plans I have created.  If they are interested, we run with it.  If they are NOT interested, I willingly and respectfully  drop it.

 Who would have thought — a control-freak really CAN be a successful unschooler.

Okay, okay, so it’s been 3 months!!  I’m still working on getting things organized!!  Plus, my dh took some “time off” in between jobs . . . you would think having another adult around the house all the time would allow me to have more free time . . . . . um . . . not so much. :-)

Welcome to The Organized Unschooler blog!

It is my intention to write about the Organized and not-so-organized activities that my children & I do.  And, to give examples of how Organized Unschooling works for us.

It is currently a work in progress, so please bookmark us & check back often!!